Hello Jan,

Thanks so much for joining us this week to talk about spirituality and your new book, Your Truest Self: Embracing The Woman You Are Meant To Be.



Along with ‘reinvention’, spirituality is the other big area of interest I’ve noticed is top of mind/heart for middle aged women. Why do you think that is? And, how do you hope your book, Your Truest Self, helps midlife women on their spiritual journey?


Allison

Post edited by: WomenBloom, at: 2009/08/03 03:53

Hi Allison and All,

Thanks for having me here! It's always a thrill when I can connect with other women (men too!) who are on the path to awakening.

Allison, I'd like to begin our conversation with a quick explanation of what I mean by "your truest self," because, to me, the concept is unique. I would not describe my truest self as my "authentic self." For me that concept could be sourced in our ego, or who we think we should be. Instead, I would describe it as my "sacred self," the essence of who I really am. Here's my thinking.

Our truest self is a woman who is living from her fullness. She is living large, free from fear to express herself in the world as a confident, glorious woman. She has fully embodied the qualities we attribute to Spirit itself—-peacefulness, loving kindness, generosity, patience, courage, and so on. She lives a mature spirituality, not one that has been handed to her without having fully explored it first. (Note, this applies to men, too. The concepts and process of living as your truest self are the same.)

Living as our truest self is a lifelong process. This is a journey, a pilgrimage, into the most sacred part of us. I wrote Your Truest Self through my lenses as a seeker, but also as an Interfaith Spiritual Director who accompanies people of all faiths as they ask the deepest questions about life. What I’ve come to realize is that there are common threads of truth that run through all spiritual traditions. When we can embrace these—what I present in the book as “Transformational Truths"—-we come home to our truest selves.

Your question of how my book can help is based on these Truths and how the shared wisdom of twelve spiritual mentors (each one representing a Truth) help us navigate and, ultimately, live them.

The Twelve Transformational Truths are:

I Am Free to Live a Spiritual Life of My Own Making

I Trust My Body's Divine Connection

I Choose Thoughts and Feelings That Honor My Sacred Self

I Engage in Daily Spiritual Practices That Nurture My Spirit

I Cultivate Compassion for Myself

I Experience the Divine in Everything and Everyone

I Know Divine Assistance is Available to Me at All Times

I Acknowledge that Difficult Times Bring Healing and Deeper Wisdom

I Can Create My Life Anew Each Day

I Trust the Divine Timing of My Own Unfolding

I Courageously Live and Speak My Truths

I Open My Heart and Celebrate Our Oneness

Working through the Truths enables us to let go of old, disempowering messages about who we’ve been told we are. It also empowers us to embrace new personal Truths, to connect more fully with our spirit, and the greater Spirit.

This is really where all of our spiritual journeys begin.

A good question to start some conversation going here might be:

Of the 12 Truths, which one jumps out at you as most challenging? Which one do you seem to struggle with?


Post edited by: hearttoheart, at: 2009/08/03 15:08

Post edited by: hearttoheart, at: 2009/08/03 15:11

Jan, great place to start. Can I have 2 of your truths that are my personal challenges? :)

The first is that Divine assistance is available to me always. Wow, I know that in my heart, but when I’m particularly ‘stuck’—and being an action oriented person--I can find it very difficult to get quiet and listen. I’ve tried meditation with little success, it’s hard for me to quiet my mind. Journaling for me comes as close to ‘listening’ as I’ve been able to find. I do morning pages around whatever I’m stuck on or uncertain about, and if I’m patient, often an answer will come to me then.

Which leads to my second ‘truth challenge’...

I trust the Divine timing of my own unfolding. Unh, hunh, right. Again, I know that in my heart, and I’m actually getting better, but I think it’s having to tolerate the uncertainty and ambiguity until I ‘unfold’. It’s uncomfortable, and it does take trust that clarity will come.

I’m dealing with some issues with my parents right now that have me wanting to jump in and start ‘fixing’ everything, yet it’s not clear what the right path is. Being active feels more familiar than waiting until the path reveals itself even though this situation calls for some discernment and compassion. Again, it’s hard tolerating the ‘not knowing’.

Does that make sense? Any thoughts about how I can become more comfortable with those?

Hi Jan!

Excellent post. Lots to think about here, particularly your description of one's Truest Self, versus one's Authentic Self. Need to do some noodling over that...

Of your list, I feel I have a handle on most of those, however my sticking point seems to be this one:

"I Experience the Divine in Everything and Everyone"

It's the "Everyone" part that gets me. I still have to work on recognizing that God has created everyone and that their lives, conduct, what-have-you, is his business, not mine. I have to remind myself that, if there is a real serious issue, it's for him to judge and decide how to proceed with it, not mine. If I were honest with myself, I suppose I would recognize it as a control issue at heart. I also don't know everything that's going on for that person, and what I may be taking personally, may in fact have very little or nothing at all to do with me. It's a matter of surrendering...a tough one for me.

Carolynn

Allison,
The Truths you selected have a lot to do with "us" being in charge. As women of a "newer' generation that truly values self-empowerment, many of us have been taught that the more capable we are, the harder we work, and the more we take charge, our lives will come together. Unfortunately, on the spiritual path our "success" in living as our truest selves comes not from pushing through, but letting go. Trusting. Surrendering. These are profound spiritual practices that do take time to understand and embrace.

This is a kind way of saying that most of us are "control freaks." We pretty much want to be in charge of our lives and how they turn out. Does this sound familiar? The challenge is to embrace trust, letting go, and surrender as a "both/and." It's not about choosing to live one way or the other. Be in charge/not be in charge. It is about learning to listen deeply, use discernment, and balance head knowledge, gut knowing, heart wisdom when it comes to walking through life. This IS a lifelong journey.

And it's not even about getting it right! Our journey is all about being "well" with what comes. Finding strength and courage to persevere when we need to. Doing nothing or letting go when we need to; depending on our courage and/or calling upon Divine Guidance when necessary. It is definitely about listening deeply and developing contemplative practices so we can be more at ease with the process. What's really amazing is that when we can learn to live this way, we are naturally empowered! We are calm, clear, and wise--my 3 part magic formula (and the subject of my next book!) It is vital that we learn techniques to access our inner wisdom if we are to live as our truest selves... My book is full of these.

I'd like to address this issue you raise of having a very busy mind and not being able to meditate in another post (comment), so stay tuned. Being able to do so is one of the foundational practices of living as your truest self...

Great post. I think I have the most trouble with "I can create myself anew each day" because it's so very crucial to me right now. At this point in my life, I am stuck in some old, familiar patterns -- patterns that once were productive and good at another time, but no longer work for me now. I have trouble defining what's the next best thing for myself in terms of career growth. I need to shift gears -- and I need to find a new way to contribute my skills and talents. I want to start "anew" each day, but I flounder. That said, I also think I need to allow myself to have some fallow time, and to see the growth opportunity in NOT pushing so hard for a change... Sometimes I work so hard at reinventing myself that I can't see the forest for the trees.