According to Lee Khoury, body image expert, we have all kinds of fears and tell ourselves all kinds of messages about our middle-aged bodies.

If you can't name the problem, it can't be fixed. Bringing yourself to say them is the first step to dealing with weight and eating issues.

What are your secret fears? What old messages play in your head? How do you hide from your 20 extra pounds?

Well, one thing I do is - rather than focusing on a known "flaw" when I look in the mirror, I start by complimenting myself. "Green looks on you" or "what a fun skirt" or " I love these earrings from my mother" or whatever. We are all so beautiful, and in so many different ways, that to waste my energy/time/heart putting myself down for a body that sees, hears, touchs, tastes and walks and talks, seems silly.

Wearing clothes that are comfortable makes me feel better about myself. If I pull out an outfit that is too tight because I gained weight, it ruins my whole day! Sure we can set goals to exercise, eat healthy and lose weight but in the meantime, let's cut ourselves some slack in our slacks and enjoy whatever life has in store for us today!

I like both y'all's suggestions. Emerald...duh, why IS it that we always focus on the flaws instead of our best features?? That's a great suggestion...focus on playing up the features we really like instead of hiding the parts we're not so crazy about.

And there is nothing worse than feeling like your clothes are too tight. I think that would make me feel fat if I weighed 90 pounds! I think comfortable and well-fitting is the way to go.

And, I've tried recently to focus just on do I feel healthy and fit...not thin, but does my body feel good and like I'm taking care of it. I focus on eating healthy foods that don't make me bloat and drinking lots of water. I can really tell when I've eaten fatty or processed foods these days. I just look and feel puffy. That has helped a LOT on how I feel about myself.

I remember being a teenager and then even in my twenties and feeling like I had flaws...so, I tell myself, I actually feel better about myself today than I did then! Twenty year olds are just as insecure about their bodies and how they look as we are in our mid-life...sometimes when I hear a young person putting down the way older women look, I realize it is more their own insecurities than my problem...

Ha! My Mom always said when someone criticized me that it said more about them than it did about me. I think you're absolutely right about that.

I think I look better now than I ever did at 20...or maybe I'm just more accepting of myself?? I guess it adds up to the same thing!