Great Resource: Ann Daly’s A Year Of Clarity
Last Thursday, I was a guest discussion partner at Ann Daly’s launch of her new book, A Year Of Clarity: The Monthly Guide For Women, at BookWoman in Austin, Texas. Ann is a terrific coach, award winning author, and speaker and she specializes in helping the women she works with find the clarity they need to accomplish what matters most to them. This book is a follow on to her last book, Clarity: How To Accomplish What Matters Most.
We had so much FUN! About 20 or so women showed up to talk about topics ranging from the benefits of forming our own women’s colony to how our daughters’ and granddaughters’ outlooks about what they can achieve were different from our own. The cool thing was that the group was so interactive! It was just a stimulating group conversation.
I have to say a few things on the subject of Ann’s book because it is so full of wisdom and just plain interesting food for thought. She also provides an enticingly wonderful reading list (argh, my already extensive list just expanded by another 7 or 8).
One point that really resonated with me in A Year of Clarity was the section on women and ambition. She says, “…who we are—and who we can be—doesn’t depend just on the past we’ve lived. Our identity also depends on the future we imagine. In other words, our ambitions.” Ann’s reading suggestion is Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives in which author Nancy Fels reports on her research about why so many talented women have not achieved the success their hard work would suggest.
Ann makes the point that for many of us the concept of ambition has a negative connotation. Our uniquely feminine spin on it often implies selfish, or aggressive, or, heaven forbid, that you can’t be a ‘nice’ person and be ambitious. I know I struggle with that although my view of ambition is also deeply tinged by fear of failing, another topic Ann treats in her book. Fear of failing is not conducive to dreaming big, needless to say. I recently was given a quote, supposedly from the Dalai Lama, that spoke to this: “Take into account that great love and great accomplishments involve great risk.” Amen!
Ann’s mission is to transform these negative views of ambition to one that focuses on our dreams for ourselves.
I could go on and on, but I hope you’ll check out her book and buy one for yourself and for a friend, it really is packed with insights that are a perfect jumpstart to making 2009 a year filled with focus, meaning, and accomplishment. It’s downloadable so it’s as easy as pie to buy!
To tease you a bit, I’ll leave you with an excerpt from Ann’s Preface so you can get your Year of Clarity off on the right foot:
Just say no. Every time you begrudgingly say ‘yes’ to someone else’s priorities, you say ‘no’ to your own.
Add Mozart to the mix. This measured, buoyant music is the immediate anti-dote to the manic moment. You’ll find yourself able to breathe, relax and focus.
Don’t say ‘should’. Eliminate this word from your vocabulary. Find alternatives such as ‘want’, that declare your power and responsibility to make choices.
Stop multitasking. It’s not a productivity tool. It’s an excuse for perpetual distraction. Instead, plan your time well enough to focus on one task–or one person—at a time.
Tame the female ego. If men feel the need to be in control, women feel the need to please. Ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I want to do the right thing, or because I don’t want to be seen as rude, selfish, bitchy….?”
Happy Blooming, Baby!
Posted on December 9th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Creativity, Inspiration, Interviews, Job, Personal Growth, Spirituality
One of the best words I ever learned was “No”. All of my years in the Jr. League taught me to say “Yes” to everyone. I finally took my life back when I learned to say “No”. It was a huge step, but I’ve never regretted it.
Ann really is quite amusing and informative
Liz aka Ms. Snooty,
Yes! I think it’s important to practice your ‘no’ before you have occasion to use it. I used to say ‘yes’ because I couldn’t think fast enough on the spot how to say ‘no’ in a pleasant way.
Allison
Alice,
Yes, Ann is truly a treasure! I always learn so much any time I’m around her!
Thanks for stopping by!
Allison
I’ve read Necessary Dreams twice and I LOVED it. It really helped me to understand that women our age had the “shoulds” switched on them midstream. We started out being indoctrinated in traditional femininity — only to have the rules change as we were coming of age. Suddenly we were supposed to be successful and autonomous — but many of us simply didn’t have the foundation we needed in terms of confidence, precedents, and mentors. I sure didn’t. And for years, I thought that I’d failed to live up to all the gains that had been fought for and won by second wave feminism.
Fels doesn’t offer any easy answers. But seeing the failures and disappointments of my life in broader psychological and sociological terms has helped me to stop being so #$%&ing hard on myself.
This book sounds wonderful — something I’d like to review in the near future, so I’ll look for a copy. Thanks for the tip! I’m intrigued.
Hi Allison! I love your blog and think it’s a great resource! I was referred to you by Darryle at I Never Signed Up For This and I have a question, but I don’t see an email address for you. Could you please send me an email at lisamunleyATcaDOTrrDOTcom?
Thanks!
Ooh, Ellen, now you’ve really piqued my interest…it sounded like a wonderful book. In one of my recent posts, it took a couple of guy friends to point out the transitional nature of our generation. It immediately made so much sense to me since what you describe (much more articulately than I) is exactly how I feel. I have all these dreams and ambitions, but I feel I’m carrying some baggage around with me. If only I’d played football in h.s., I’m sure it wouldn’t be like this
Thanks for chiming in with your ‘testimonial’ for Necessary Dreams!
Cindy,
See my comments above, it DOES sound very interesting doesn’t it?
Always appreciate your comments!
Lisa,
Well thanks, that’s a nice start to my morning!
Allison
Not only does the book sound interesting, but so does the event. I love being with a group of wonderful women talking about how we can come together to support each other.
Cathy,
Yes, indeed. One of my motivations for starting WomenBloom was that many women dealing with different aspects of midlife seemed to think they were alone. Of course that is far from the case and talking it over with other kindred spirits makes it so much easier!
Thanks for stopping by!
Allison
Thank you Allison, for the fascinating comments at BookWoman. I came away inspired by you and Ann and ready to tackle my dream with gusto!
For anyone who missed it, get yourself to the next discussion at BookWoman and meet some smart, awesome women.
Beth,
Inspiration is a good thing! We can learn so much from each other, and when you’re following your dream support is key!
Thanks for visiting!
Allison