Well, folks…real estate has kept life in a blur since the end of last year. A good thing, but time for blogging has not appeared. I am missing it terribly though and hope life is enough on an even keel (or maybe I’m just delusional) that I can write a little, or at least publish posts written by someone else occasionally.
Here is a great post from one of my favorite people, Jan Lundy. Jan writes on all things spiritual. I always learn something that gives me thought…
I believe that everything is spiritual. Everything. Allow me to explain.
You may or may not know that I am a Spiritual Director, a trained and certified somebody who companions people on their spiritual journeys. I “sit” with people. We talk, once a month for one hour, and navigate the seas of their spiritual lives—together.
The first time I connect with someone in this way I usually ask, “So, how is your spiritual life going these days?”
Nine times out of ten they answer, “Great!” and they explain how wonderful things are for them in that department. Then, if I wait a few more moments, they’ll add, “But…”
The “but” often sounds like this:
“But I really hate my boss.” Or,
“I’ve been fighting a lot with my husband.” Or,
“My neighbor drives me crazy.”
I think you catch my drift. We have a tendency to think that our spiritual life is separate from our “daily” life. We compartmentalize our lives into spiritual and non-spiritual. In reality, it’s all the same thing.
In fact, it is within the context of human relationship that we’ll learn the most about ourselves. Within relationship we are able to experience, up close and personal, how well we are walking our spiritual talk—actually being the spiritual persons we claim ourselves to be. Living in the “real” world—going to work or school, being partnered, having kids, living in a neighborhood—is how we come to fully develop (and round out) our spiritual lives.
We get to see the light and the dark of us. We observe how we close our hearts to others, hold grudges, gossip, and slander. We also have the opportunity to grow, to open ourselves, forgive, be generous and loving.
This is where the spiritual journey really begins. We begin to look at how well we are embodying the spiritual values we say we have. We examine all the areas of our life—friends, family, workplace, church/temple, neighborhood, school—and determine if we are being our “spirit self” in those arenas.
For example, you might ask yourself, in the context of your intimate relationship, am I living out the values of Spirit that I hold dear? Am I peaceful, openhearted, generous? Kind, patient, forgiving with this person?
Or am I aligned, instead, with the values of the ego? Am I angry, hurt, closed down? Am I stingy, impatient, disappointed with them?
If the first scenario is true, I would venture to say that your “spiritual life” is going pretty well because you are bringing your best self (your spirit self) to the table of relationship. If the second scenario is true, I’d say that your ego may be having a field day, keeping you distant from a rich-in-spirit life.
What this all boils down to are a few key questions: Am I living as my truest self—whose essence is Spirit—and do I embrace ALL the qualities of spirit inherent within me? Or, do I have “work” to do on my self?
This is why I propose that everything is spiritual. Every human interaction invites us to engage with others through our spirit, especially the most difficult ones. Every conversation, every encounter, invites to be more than our personality, our woundedness, our ego self. In fact, difficult others may be our greatest teachers on the spiritual path. They show us—simply by being who they are—who we can ultimately be.
They invite us to be a living, breathing, manifestation of Spirit; to be our loving, most compassionate selves.
In my book, that’s a spiritual life work making. Everything belongs …
Something has happened to me. I thought it was just a temporary condition, but I think it’s here to stay.
This past weekend I went down to the annual Armadillo Christmas Bazaar. It’s one of those wonderful events that is sheer Austin…funky, eclectic, weird, artistic. Every December for two weeks the ACB sets up camp with 150 or so artists and artisans. Everything from jewelry, to textiles, painting, glasswork, mixed media, mosaic, and more. Combine that with a complete line up of beloved Austin musicians playing non stop and you can see why this ‘scene’ has been going on since 1976.
I think I’ve gone every year I’ve lived here except one. If you can’t get Christmas shopping done there, I’m not sure where you can.
And. Once upon a time I would have been happy to buy any number of things for others and for me.
But yesterday I suddenly realized I have zero interest in any of it. I mean ZERO, zip, nada. And not because it’s not interesting stuff, or well done, or original. I mean, I don’t want stuff no matter how interesting or decorative.
When I took a fit a few years back and moved out of my house without my stuff, I thought I was just taking a vacation from it. But no, I think some permanent shift has taken place. I cannot imagine buying knick knacks, or art, or more jewelry, or beautifully made leather and artisan paper journals, or hand woven scarves.
I remember years ago I would have gone to something like this and bought some things, and enjoyed having them. Now, it’s like they are dead to me.
It made me wonder why I even care about working and making money since I do care about that quite a bit. What’s money for anyway if not to buy stuff? I’m not sure. I think it’s more about having experiences, and freedom. Friday night I went to another ingeniously creative Austin happening, Dylan Thomas’s A Child’s Christmas in Wales read/sung by a jazz singer and quartet, complete with all the charming sound effects one could ask for. I went with a dear friend and we had a great ‘date’ night. Now THAT was fun and something I happily spent my money on.
Mom asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas and I was stumped for an answer. I NEEDED some things like a new coat to replace my worn out leather one. I haven’t had a massage in years. But those were the only things I could think of.
Maybe the trauma of cleaning out my house as I was moving and having to find a way to get rid of so much and store the rest is responsible. It was a big pain and I realized how much of my stuff just sat around, really almost invisible to me since I had ceased to care about it. It was just kind of dead weight in my space.
I don’t want dead weight in my space any more. No artwork I don’t love any more. No more jewelry since I have pieces I love already. No knick knack sitting on a table that becomes just another dust catching object. Nope, don’t want it.
I’m not anti-Christmas, just anti-stuff. Still love reading my favorite old Christmas stories, watching my favorite Christmas movies, baking, burning Christmas candles, listening to Christmas music, wearing Christmas socks and taking in a few events like the Child’s Christmas.
Well, the holidays are upon us. People have traveled hither and yon to be with family for Thanksgiving. It’s the time of year we begin to think with gratitude upon our blessings.
I am grateful for many things: that my housemate lets me share her beautiful house so that I have a lovely space to live in, my dog Cooper is never anything but a pleasure to have around, I have embarked on a real estate career that promises to be a very good fit for me, I have so many supportive and caring friends, my health is pretty good….yes, I have many blessings.
And, I will be durn happy to see 2009 go.
This has been a heavy year, probably the second most heavy year of my life. Plummeting stock markets (and bank accounts), menopause and some other health issues, major career reinvention, a father who has been and continues to be a major financial and emotional strain on the family, a lot of job and family upheaval with Tall Slow Talkin’ Texas, major, unexpected expenditures on my house, uncharacteristic tensions with friends…I definitely feel that my spiritual life has been somewhere between what Jan describes as fall and winter.
Jan posits that the fall of the soul is a time of dying back, surrender, and transition. The soul’s winter is a time of darkness, inward focus, introspection. Yep, I’m somewhere in the middle of all that.
Maybe it just seems that way because my life has been a sunny, happy one for the most part. The contrast this year is striking. I’m not sure why suddenly so many significant things have been unsettled and challenging. And every time one thing seems to settle back a little, I think oh, that’s probably it, things will even out now. But, no. One thing upon another seems to follow.
I can only hope that all this signals that some major growth is happening under the surface, the fruits of which aren’t yet obvious. So much transition, so much change, so much upheaval…there is a definite feeling of surrender and letting go of certainty. I shouldn’t say I hope for growth, these times always lead to growth if I’m intent on letting my experiences work on me. But why does the most growth happen through painful times? Anyone have the answer to that?
I suppose it’s because until something is painful, presumably it’s working for you. If it’s good, no reason to change. If it’s bad, well, time for a change.
All of the challenges are long term, there is no easy or quick solution. Family, job, finances, and significant other will all take time to shake out. And, in the meantime, they can’t be ignored, decisions have to be made in the midst of circumstances that are ambiguous and tangly. There is no clear path but action is required nonetheless. They are a constant weight.
Part of the growth is learning to tolerate all the uncertainty, and the acting in spite of not knowing if it’s the right thing or not. Some things are just muddly and you have to act knowing that there is no silver bullet. You take this action, and yet the problem doesn’t go away, it’s ongoing.
Maybe it’s just my lens at the moment, but it seems to me that many people around me are experiencing this sort of thing. Is it just the general energy in the country right now? We’re just swimming around in a lot of tension and stress generally and it’s rubbing off?
At least the good news is that middle age does bring a certain sense of proportion to things. It may be tough at the moment, but things always cycle. We don’t know where things will go, but we know that they will ultimately resolve in some way.
How has this year been for you? In which season is your soul?
Last weekend I had a girl date with one of my friends. As we settled in cozily at a neighborhood wine bar, she mentioned that she and her husband of 20 years had been having a little trouble. Nothing dramatic, but she just felt as though lately she was the only one putting in effort. They’d seen a counselor about it and things were improving but it got me thinking.
Seems to me we are so locked in to some traditional way of seeing our long term relationships. Maybe we should use a little imagination. I asked my friend, “would you ever consider moving out for a while, 5 or 6 months say, and dating again?” You know, a kind of marriage sabbatical.
Well, she LOVED that idea. And I see why. I think it’s a splendid idea. Seems to me that one thing that makes long term relationships get stale is too much day in day out togetherness without a break. Your identities kind of mush together. You don’t ever get to sleep by yourself. You only occasionally get the house to yourself. He’s there on Sunday afternoon watching ball games when you might like to lounge on the sofa (sans the drone of sports announcing) wrapped up in an afghan reading a good book.
You’re never ALONE to take a deep breath, relax and just be you. There’s always someone else there. Geesh, just writing this makes me feel constrained. No wonder people get tired of each other.
What’s wrong with taking a rest from each other? Time apart to give yourselves a chance to miss each other. And then after a few months, starting to date each other again. You know, where you actually dress up a bit and go out to dinner or dancing. Maybe you have a nice lingering goodnight kiss or two before going your separate ways. Maybe after a month or so of that, you have a sleepover or two, but you still are living apart.
By that time you start missing each other and find yourself looking forward with anticipation to the time you spend together. You are rediscovering each other, and yourself, in a new way.
Heck, many jobs let people take 6 month sabbaticals after 5 years’ service. Why would a relationship be any different? People need a break, they need a chance to get re-acquainted with their individuality, explore a few interests perhaps. It could be an opportunity to do a few things you’ve wanted to do for a while.
I mean, really. What is wrong with this other than it’s unusual? You could alternate where one moves out for the first separation, and the next 5 years, the other gets to move out. I’m really getting attached to this idea, it could be the salvation of many a long term relationship.
I know how it feels to be dating. Lately our lives are complicated, Tall, Slow Talkin’ Texan and me. We don’t get to see each other as much as we would like. When we are together, it’s special. We get a chance to really miss each other in between times. And for me anyway, it’s nice sometimes to curl up in my bed alone and read a good book before falling asleep.
But, like anything you have too much of, that gets old too. It would be nice to have enough togetherness to get a chance to become a little tired of each other. But then to know that the need for a break isn’t because something bad is wrong with the relationship, but because it’s time to refresh the relationship.
My friend was really taken with the idea. What do you think?
After a long, hot, and challenging summer, I am suddenly feeling there is light at the end of the tunnel.And, I am awash in gratitude that the fog seems to be lifting.I’m getting really excited about my real estate gig and the people I’ve affiliated with, they are SUCH smart business people all the way round, I can see I’ll be learning a TON about real estate AND business in general.
But, as I’ve mentioned, I also have such neat women committed to contributing regularly to WomenBloom.I will be telling you all about them, but I have this feeling deep inside that the friendships I’m forming with women through this crazy thing we call the internet are going to be extremely meaningful to me for a long time to come.
Imagine that…feeling a deep kinship with women I haven’t even met.It makes me think of the relationships one sometimes reads about that were formed somewhat accidentally through letters.My Mom was always a big fan of 84 Charing Cross Rd where Helene Hanff, an American writer, formed a warm 20 year friendship with the owner of an antiquarian bookstore in London.I just finished Julia Child’s wonderful memoir, My Life In France (heavenly read) and she too, formed a few deep,lasting friendships through serendipity and the written word.
So, perhaps we aren’t forging new ground, we’re just forging it using a different medium, and faster with the help of technology.
Honestly, if I hadn’t created WomenBloom, I’m not sure how into the social media phenomenon I would be.Maybe I would have gotten on Facebook by now, but I’m not sure I really would have ‘gotten’ it.And yet, I have come to know several women that way who are so clearly kindred spirits… and that I would have never met them without blogging and social media.
I don’t know about you but more and more having a community of women is so important.You always hear that counselors and therapists go into that line of work to heal their old wounds; it’s their way of working through their own issues.I started WomenBloom with the idea of forming community for OTHER women, but I’m dimly coming to see that, surprise, it’s really for ME!
Well, whoEVER it’s for, I am benefitting in a big way.We are all so busy busy at this time of our lives, and midlife women are not exactly known for being big embracers of technology although we’re getting better.I talk to so many of us and I sense such a hunger for deep connections with each other.And for some reason many of us seem to find it challenging to find that in our ‘real’ lives.
I know that whenever I go home to visit Mom and Dad, I feel as though I’m about 14 again. Mom gets all excited and asks me what I want to eat, and then cooks all my favorites. She has nice new sheets on the beds, and lets me sleep in (as well as I can since I can’t really sleep anymore past about 7 anymore but it’s the thought that counts). I admit that in this situation I let her have her way with me. I like it. I’m not stupid.
But, one would think that once you hit at least your 40s for sure, your parents would finally have learned to see you as the adult you are. You know, be OK with you making your life choices and decisions without panicking. I’m not a felon, or homeless, and pretty much a contributing member of society, seems like that would give them some basic level of confidence in my ability to sail my own ship. Wouldn’t one think that? Wouldn’t ONE??
Nonh. At least not for me and at least one other friend of mine.
Mom can’t seem to help expressing her worry about my move to real estate. And now I hear through the sibling grapevine that my Dad is worried too. Sigh. You know when you’re facing something new, and you’re nervous even though you’ve done your homework? The last thing you really want to hear is the doubts of your PARENTS, or anyone else really, putting in to words the anxieties you’re trying to shush. You get them more or less under control and then your Mom, bless her heart, can’t help worrying out loud for you.
Once a child, always a child in some ways I guess. I know they mean well, and it’s out of love that they worry, but it’s just weird to think of being 50 plus years old and still having your parents agonize over you. A double standard I know, somehow I don’t mind being 14 again when it suits me. But what I’d like is some support when it comes to this kind of life move.
At least I’m not alone in this. My friend Mary, over at Simply Forties, recently made a really BIG change. She’d lived in West Texas for many years, but was ready for something different and when her contracting job went away, she was offered the opportunity to move to Virginia and turn her interest in sustainable living into reality by turning an absentee owner’s ‘hobby farm’ into a role model of sustainability. It was almost miraculous the way it came about and she was very excited about it. Apparently though, her parents were sufficiently alarmed to make a detour on their way from Alabama to Florida, to Virginia! Hunh!?! Last time I checked my atlas, that would have been quite a detour.
They just had to check on their baby girl to make sure she hadn’t lost her mind.
I guess if you think about it, many of us are doing things our moms would never have dreamed of. But believe me, if it seems a little out there to them, it isn’t like we aren’t a little concerned too. We make the best decisions we can, but of course we have no way of knowing for sure how they will shake out.
So chill out Moms and Dads, you gotta let your babies make their own way. Of course they are likely to make some bad choices along the way, don’t we all? But that’s what life is about and it’s better to have tried than to have played it safe.
Rereading this, I sound kind of down. I’m really not, actually I’m pretty excited about my move. Mary and I will be OK, Mom and Dad. Really, we will.
Whanh, whanh! This is a very funny guy with alot of funny videos on the differences between us women and men. Now, we KNOW we’re different, anyone can see that, but if we all approached it like Mark Gungor, our relationships would probably be alot better. At least they’d be funnier
This one explains the BASIC difference and I think we all know about the ‘nothing’ box in men’s brains
My life has been pretty simple for the past number of years. Single, no kids, parents still independent and since moving out of my house a couple of years ago to share a friend’s house, no big house upkeep responsibilities. I’m busy since I like my time full, but really that isn’t the same as being complicated.
But these past months, I have had an eye opening look into just how complex our lives really are. And, I think it’s REALLY not good for us.
I’ve said for a long time one reason it’s hard to find a lasting relationship in midlife is because we have so much baggage. And by ‘baggage’ I just mean the accumulation of all our choices and decisions up to this point in time, never mind emotional baggage. Our situations and circumstances are what twenty five years of choices and decisions have made them, ya know? An example…
Tall Slow Talkin’ Texas man and I had it pretty good for about 9 months. His workload was full, but manageable. He had his 11 year old son with him up to a third of the time and often less, not because he didn’t want him but because of the ex wasn’t exactly on board with it. I was busy with Womenbloom.
It was so nice and compartmentalized.
Then I fell into existential angst because of my realization about WomenBloom not providing the living I’d hoped for, my Mom and Dad suddenly developed some issues that needed my attention, close friends and family started having various problems, menopause struck and I’m about to enter a demanding new career
On TSTT’s side, his ex decided that it was time, as a 12 year old boy, for TSTT the Younger to be with his Dad close to full time, TSTT the Younger concurred, TSTT’s workload effectively tripled for the foreseeable future, his parents are in their late 80s and early 90s so they need ever more help, he is considering his own next professional move, and his housing situation is up in the air since his career options and his son’s school district needs are somewhat at odds, and his rent house is standing empty.
In the nooks and crannies of all that are tucked the stuff like laundry, bill paying, car maintenance, grocery shopping and cooking, cleaning, etc. And then there is ‘us’ to try to squeeze in somewhere.
That’s a lot of baggage to deal with. Kids, exes, jobs, big life decisions, older parents, career planning…see what I mean? TSTT is thrilled to have his son so much more, but it’s quite an impactful change as those of you with kids can attest. And the thing is, how many millions of us are dealing with that much, or worse? I tell you, TSTT and I are pretty intelligent, capable people but we are pretty much operating full out and still not on top of things. ‘We’ are where the slack is getting taken up for the moment which isn’t so great. For how many people is that true?
I think most of us are operating beyond our limits. Blended families add a lot of complication emotionally, financially, and logistically and most of us seem to have that situation to deal with in one form or other. The economy is in major metamorphosis into no one knows what, retirement is looming, older parents are needing more from us, the conflicting political voices in our country just get louder and more shrill…we have a lot on our plates.
I always thought of the simplicity movement as just a pleasant idea that was more of a lightweight lifestyle choice than having serious implications for our mental and spiritual health. Human beings are ingenious, but just because we CAN do something, doesn’t mean we SHOULD do it. Our ability to do and create things seems to far outstrip our wisdom in knowing whether we should do or create it. We are pretty mindless about the implications of what we do and we are paying the price, it seems to me.
Chirpy little post isn’t it? I don’t mean it to be a downer but more of a reflection on ‘is this really working for us?’ I had one of those inspirational cards some years ago that referenced ‘the simplicity on the other side of complexity’. I always liked that even though I don’t exactly know what it meant. But maybe it means that we have to go through this mass of complication to be able to discern what’s really important so we can distill things to the healthy essentials.
This is a bit of a weird duck post, but I am betting many of you have aches and pains you think are just inevitable aging signs. Well, read on…
In late July, I headed to the Texas beaches with Tall Slow Talkin’ Texan man and his 27 year old daughter and 12 year old son for a few days. Dangerous combination. Daughter inherited her Dad’s athleticism and has been doing fitness boot camps for months. What I’m sayin’ is she looks like a powerful sleek young goddess and seeing her in her swimsuit for several days made me oh so nostalgic for the days when I too was in fab shape and could hang out on the beach with the best of the babes.
Then there is Younger Son… He is suddenly sprouting into a young athletic kid, and he knows no strangers. Great quality to have, he makes friends very easily.
So, this group next to us on the beach had set up a little compound of tents, volleyball paraphernalia, chess boards, coolers and the requisite Texas and University of Texas flags flying bravely from the support posts. There were about 30 of them, people, not flags. Apparently, they have done this family reunion there every year for 20 something years. Now it’s grandparents, parents, kids, the whole clan.
At some point, Younger Son put his socializing skills to good use and got he and his sister involved in the volleyball matches. I watched with a bit of envy as I used to play in junior high and high school. It was always a favorite sport for me. But of course I haven’t played in, oh, 25 years. Seeing a few of the grandparents out there playing, combined with remembering how it felt to be young and strong, I got the secret itch…why, I could play too. Couldn’t I?
Sure enough on the third day, Younger Son begged me to come play a few rounds. So, I did. And, boy was it fun!
And ever since I’ve had this shoulder pain in my left arm. Duh. That’s what nostalgia will do for you apparently.
Anyway, I started poking around on it this morning since it was STILL bothering me and realized that part of the problem was I had started not only NOT moving it, but actively ‘holding’ it, in response to the pain. Just gently encouraging it to move its range of motion finally elicited a big relaxation (which is how I knew I’d been holding it) and helped tons with the pain. It had become a tension pattern where I was tensing certain muscles around it in a way that started as protection and ended up making it hurt more and longer because the muscles were tense and tired.
This reminded me of a book called Somatics by Thomas Hanna I read some years ago. He proposes that many of the aches and pains we assume are inevitable effects of aging are in fact ingrained tension patterns like the one in my shoulder. They form because of the emotional or mental stress we experience from our work and just day in day out living, and/or as a reaction to a physical injury or pain. The initial soreness, tension or tightening turns into habitual holding, turns into overused muscles, turns into chronic muscle pain and stiffness, and we feel old. Hanna believes much of old age stiffness and pain is really this kind of stuff, and that it certainly is NOT inevitable.
That makes perfect sense to me. Who has stress all the time from one source or other? Me! Who sits at a computer for hours every day, hunched over? Me! Who doesn’t do stretching and strengthening exercises as much as she should? Me! Who certainly doesn’t set aside 10 minutes a day to stretch, breathe deeply and relax her body? ME! All that stress and tension just sits there in my body day after day until it becomes an entrenched pattern that’s hard to break.
So, y’all, I encourage you to read about this if you have any aches, pains, stiffness, or loss of range of movement. Hanna’s book has a number of exercises to help. And, practitioners of the following kinds of body work can also help with this: functional integration, structural integration, Feldenkreis, and some kinds of energy work (to help release blocked energy from emotional/mental stress). Yoga and Pilates are also very helpful as long as the instructors are VERY well trained, not just people who went to a weekend workshop and consider themselves trained.
I am making myself a promise to commit to addressing this. I don’t want to freeze up, and I don’t want to be unable to play an easy going game of volleyball occasionally.
Normally I don’t like to, and don’t, think of myself as a ‘victim’. It’s a control thing. I’m a big believer in I can’t control what happens to me but I can dern sure endeavor to respond to what happens in the most powerful way I can manage. And although I sometimes fail, I try to keep a positive outlook.
But there is one thing that can still reduce me to a whiny, insecure teen pleading ‘It’s not FAIR!’.
Mrs. Jones. 9th grade. Algebra I.
Need I say more?
That’s right. I am a victim. I suffer from…Adult Math Trauma.
I know there are many of you out there who have a deep shame around this secret and you’ve buried it hidden deep in your heart. Numerous ones of us are victims of incompetent junior high and high school math teachers. Mrs. Jones single-handedly dealt a lasting blow to my then fragile ego and left me with lasting insecurity about my math abilities. I don’t recall doing ANY math in her class…I mostly remember talking about the Vietnam war. Maybe she thought she was a Current Events teacher or something. But, funny, my 10th grade geometry teacher could have cared less how glibly I talked about the pros and cons of being involved in a land war in Asia. He kinda expected us to know our algebra.
And as you know, if you don’t ‘get’ Algebra I, you are behind the mathematical 8 ball forever after.
OK, maybe I AM over dramatizing. A little. But I know I am not alone in this.
A friend of mine’s husband is a math whiz, it’s as easy as falling off a log backwards for him. A few years ago he had the idea of teaching a math course for adults, like me, who are fairly intelligent, were very successful in school and in life, but whom are STILL very bothered that they never got a handle on the basics of Algebra, Geometry and Calculus. He got 5 other guinea pigs besides me and opened class by having each of us tell our story of how we got to this place.
I swear, you could have substituted Coach Brown, or Mr. Peabody, or Mrs. Sneed for ‘Mrs. Jones’. We ALL told exactly the same sad story. It really bothered us, you could tell. In our hearts, lo, these many decades, the voice of our 8th or 9th grade self still pleads, ‘I KNOW I can do this. REALLY I can, if only you could explain it a different way, I know I could get it.”
Pleas on the deaf ears of Mrs. Joneses and Coach Browns everywhere. Pitiful and amusing at the same time.
Why is Allison off on this random subject, you may be asking. Because, irony of ironies, real estate, my latest professional aspiration, does require mathematics…you know, amortizations, PITI payments, estimated costs of things, cap rates if you’re into investing etc. Not of the caliber of calculus, but still, going through my real estate Law of Contracts course this last week which is full of that stuff, dredged up all my old fears of being a remedial math student. I had to swallow a few times and take some deep breaths to get a grip on my rising hysteria.
Thankfully, somewhere along the way, I did get very comfortable with real estate kind of math, thank GAWD, or I’d be in deep you know what right now. I remember my Dad saying about a thousand times, “all the math you need to know is the answer to ‘2 is what percent of 4’?”. I’ve never quite figured out whether that is gross oversimplification, or the simplicity on the other side of complexity…well, most likely it explains a lot about my struggles…apples apparently don’t fall far from the tree.
Anyway, I was laughing over this with a friend whose husband is a freakin’ private equity guy these days, and she said he had the same story. His was a Coach someone or other. For the longest time, he too thought he was a math idiot. But now, despite his early math trauma, he can whip up complex spreadsheets replete with arcane formulae for figuring out the ROI on a long term investment with the best of them.
I’ve been overdue for some humor in my life and this provided some good laughs. Anyone I ever mention this to, immediately gets big eyes and a sympathetic expression and says, “Oh my god, I know. Coach Blah Blah…”
Apparently however, most of us have prevailed despite our post traumatic math stress condition. As long as we stay on the subject of monthly mortgage payments and amortization schedules, and you don’t mention derivatives and integrals to me, I’ll be fine.
As I approached my 50th year, my mid life crisis began. It was a good thing, it lit a fire. I have lots of good years left but no time to waste! I made some dramatic changes that included creating WomenBloom, a website and online community for women in mid-life. My goal with this blog is to create a kind of bazaar for ideas, items, people, conversations, and resources that we can use to make the most of middle age!
Well, folks…real estate has kept life in a blur since the end of last year. A good thing, but time for blogging has not appeared. I am missing it terribly though and hope life is enough on an even keel (or maybe I’m just delusional) that I can write a little, or at least publish posts written by someone else occasionally.
