Next week, my oldest turns 13.  I told him a few months ago that I wanted to do something special with him for his birthday.  I quickly reassured him that we’d still have the traditional birthday party with family and friends, but that I also wanted the two of us to go out.  He waved away my suggestion of going to a concert, and it was while we were visiting a local state park that he made his decision.  “I want us to come back here and go hiking,” he said.  We both love hiking, and I thought it sounded like a fabulous idea.

October is typically a busy month for our family, so when I realized the 10th would be free,
I quickly scheduled it as our “date” to go hiking.  The morning dawned cloudy, windy, and cold – and I anxiously eyed the sky, hoping for better weather by afternoon.  We bundled ourselves in several layers of clothing, packed our backpacks with bottled water and trail mix, grabbed the park map and digital camera, and set off on our adventure.  My son chatted happily on the ½ hour drive to the state park, and I was thrilled that my somewhat moody middle-schooler was so enthusiastic about spending the day with mom!  On the drive into the park, we saw two deer.  I stopped to take photos.  The day was off to a good start.  We found the trail without incident, parked the car and
started our hike with Zach in the lead.

Since we had the entire afternoon to ourselves, I’d chosen the longer, more rigorous trail for our hike.  As we started up the mountain, I was thankful for the regular exercise regimen I’d started several months ago.  I was also grateful to be 20 pounds lighter than I was three months ago!  By the end of the first hour, we’d both shed our sweatshirts and were taking frequent drinks from our water bottles.  The wind had calmed, giving us perfect weather for hiking.  When we stopped near the top of the mountain to admire the view, take some pictures, and enjoy a quick snack, my son grinned and thanked me for the day.  I hugged him and told him how happy I was to be there with him. 

It took us two hours to reach the top of the mountain, and another two-and-a-half hours to descend – including the half hour it took us to get back to the trail after taking a wrong turn.  We saw only one other person during our hike, and we reveled in the feeling of having the mountain to ourselves.  Several chipmunks skittered across our path, and we even caught a glimpse of two deer running through the woods.  And while my son expressed his desire to see a bear, I sent up a
silent prayer of thanks that his wish remained unfulfilled.  By the end of the hike, we were tired, sore and ready to relax.  We got back into the car with sighs of relief and a sense of accomplishment.  We’d hiked approximately five miles that afternoon.

As a single mom, there have been many moments since my divorce when I’ve felt helpless or powerless to help my children overcome their grief.  Their father lives 1,000 miles away and so their time with him is very limited.  Both he and I have moved on with our lives, and have been lucky enough to find love again. By next summer, we will both be remarried.  The past several years have brought many changes to our lives, and they have been a time of reinvention for me.
As I navigate through this territory of self-discovery and redefine who I am, it’s both comforting and rejuvenating to have this relationship with my son.  He says our day of hiking was the best birthday present ever.  For me, it was therapy better than ten pounds of Godiva® chocolate or a weekend at the spa. It’s a day I will always cherish.  On the ride home, we agreed to go hiking together again. After all, what better way to keep a young attitude than to hang out with my almost-teenaged son? 

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