We know there are plenty of midlifers out there who still have kids at home!  This article is specifically for you but, you don't have to be a mom to be 'no'-challenged, feel overwhelmed, or find your energy drained by over committment.  Here are some tips to help you be a better manager of your energy!

Renee Peterson Trudeau is Founder of Austin-based Career Strategists. Career management and strategy is her main focus, she also specializes in helping women achieve better balance and meaning in their personal and professional lives. 

We each have a finite amount of energy, time and resources. Most of us “give away” and waste our energy every day without even realizing it—through lengthy, unfulfilling or sometimes unnecessary phone conversations; endless time on email, the Web or watching TV; tolerating disorganized spaces that cause us to spend hours looking for items; going to social gatherings or volunteer events that we don’t want to attend but feel we should attend, and on and on.

What we often don’t realize is that these activities deplete our valuable energy bank.  Not only are these activities unfulfilling—and often draining—but they are zapping our precious energy and resources and keeping us from spending time on things that truly fuel us—like being with friends, enjoying our children, spending time outdoors or connecting with our partners.  

Here are some tips to help you manage your energy:

• Become proficient and comfortable at saying no. Practice it. Challenge yourself to say no at least once a week to a request that is not directly aligned with your Top Life Priorities. Many mothers agree that having a child is often incredibly freeing in that they become clearer on their priorities and find it easier to say no to non-essential activities that pull them away from their family.

• Ask for help—frequently! Successful, balanced people have robust support systems. And support is only a phone call away. Asking for support takes practice if you are used to being highly independent. Successful parenting requires interdependence (and isn’t this something you want to model for your child?). Start small—do a child care swap with a neighbor. I promise, the more you ask for and receive help, the easier it gets. And you’ll be an inspiration to your friends to practice asking for and receiving help as well!

• Challenge “shoulds” when they surface in your mind. They are always a red flag that you’re about to do something not because you want to, but because you feel pressure from an outside influence to do so. Pause and reflect before you take action and ask, what is my motivation for taking on this new activity?

• Give yourself permission to change your mind at any time!  Period. Too many of us are continually committing to things we think we should do instead of things we want to do. You always have the right to let someone know you have reconsidered a request and really can’t take on another commitment at this time.

Think about key areas of your life: your relationship with your partner or other family members, your role as a parent, your financial state, your spiritual health, your friendships, your household, your emotional or physical well-being, your career or community work.

What are your top life priorities (meaning what is on your radar right now), and does the way you allocate your time and energy reflect these choices?

An excerpt from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life, by Renee Peterson Trudeau. Visit www.reneetrudeau.com to start/join a self-renewal circle using the Guide, receive monthly self-renewal and life balance tips or order the book. Trudeau is a career/life-balance coach and president of Austin-based Career Strategists. 

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