What do a bra and life in general have in common?   Well may you ask. 

Ever had a bra that didn't fit properly?  Drove you crazy, didn't it? 

Dr. Ann Daly PhD , a life coach, speaker and writer makes that connection for us and provides some questions to ask yourself when you can't quite get a handle on why life just isn't 'fitting' properly.   

Let’s talk about the tug.

I was reminded about the tug last week, when I finally got myself up to Petticoat Fair for a bra fitting. (If you’re in Austin, Texas you may have heard about this venerable institution).

Last time I visited the store, five years ago, I was getting fitted for the “foundation garments” for my wedding. I went kicking and screaming, only after my dear friend Susan, an internationally-renowned costume designer, insisted that the success of the custom-designed ensemble — flowery silk pants and a velvet top inspired by Grace Kelly — would largely depend upon the proper “foundation garments.”

That full-up trussing was okay for a day. Five years later, I couldn’t even bear the minimum requirements. I was fed up with the daily pinching, constricting, and slipping.

At Petticoat Fair, Emily was sympathetic. She quickly got me into the right model, and we had a couple of good girl-laughs along the way.

But even in my new, properly fitting model, I started to tug. “See!” I shrieked, “I can’t stop.”
Emily commiserated. We discussed, and decided that the tug is just a bad habit we pick up along the way, when the size isn’t right. If the bra fits, there is no need to tug.

The tug is a sign. Whether we are tugging at a bra, or at a job, or at a relationship, it’s a sign that something doesn’t fit.

All too often we try to tough it out in a situation that’s not a good match for us, because we’re so darned resilient, persistent, and maybe a tad bit fearful to actually address the situation.

But why keep tugging at something that simply isn’t a good fit? No amount of tugging is going to change the essential discomfort. I don’t think that Emily’s expertise extends beyond the lingerie drawer, so you’re on your own here. It’s time to pay attention and ask good questions.

Questions to ask yourself: What is it exactly that you’re tugging at? What’s causing the discomfort? How can you alter the fit? If you cannot alter the fit, then what are your options?

Ann Daly PhD (www.anndaly.com) is a life coach, speaker, and author of CLARITY: How to Accomplish What Matters Most. She helps women get clear about what they want and how to get it. A former professor at the University of Texas at Austin, she is the award-winning author of three books on women and the arts. Dr. Daly has written for the New York Times and Village Voice, and her commentary has been aired on NPR’s “Marketplace.” She is the “Transitions” coaching columnist for Your Address magazine, and she hosts BookWisdom, a book salon that inspires and improves women’s lives. Her work on clarity and creativity has been featured on “The Coaching Show” and “The Ladies Room with Lolis” as well as in the Australian Financial Review, AustinWoman Magazine, and the Austin American-Statesman.