We often think making a change in a relationship requires big dramatic adjustments. Not so, as Dr. Nancy Oelklaus reminds us in this short and sweet piece. What simple change can you make to light up someone’s heart?
Rewriting life scripts isn’t for people who want it; it’s not even for people who need it; it’s for people who do it. And the most lasting rewrites come from simple solutions that are easy to do.
Recently a client said to me, “I want to get reconnected with my husband. We’ve been traveling, spending time with extended family. I’ve been distracted, and I want to reconnect with him. How do I do it?”
This question is one that someone might choose to turn into a problem, looking for solutions in books, therapy, analysis, and exotic, complicated procedures. There is an easier path.
The simple solution this woman chose is to look into her husband’s eyes when he is talking to her. “So often when he talks, I’m doing something else,” she noted, “And I can change that.” To look deeply into someone’s eyes is a trust-builder. And when that other person is someone you truly love, a heart connection is made without any words being spoken at all. Instant connection.
A second suggestion is that, when she hears the door open in the late afternoon as her husband is returning home, she will greet him by saying, “Welcome home!” and really mean it.
A rewritten script through simple solutions that make the heart smile.
Since 2000 Dr. Nancy Oelklaus has coached leaders in education, social services, financial services, medicine, religion, philanthropy, high tech, real estate, networking, communications, public relations, and city/state government. Her articles have appeared in The American School Board Journal, The Austin Business Journal, The Systems Thinker, and Austin Woman Magazine. This is an excerpt from Nancy's book Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically (www.HeadtoHeart.com). Three coaching CD’s by Nancy are available through Amazon.