No doubt your holiday season is in full swing!  Unless you are a rare creature, you’ve probably already had more than one moment where you’ve felt frazzled and frenzied.  Even for those who don’t celebrate Christmas, the general festivities can suck you in if you’re not careful.

Jan Lundy, our Spirit and Self editor, has given us some excellent tools here to fight that feeling of being swept up in an overpowering force.  So, take heart!  It IS possible to get through the next few weeks without collapsing in sheer exhaustion!

Midlife brings with it great gifts. One of the sublime treasures of these middle years is common sense—and the ability to access our inner wisdom about what nurtures our spirit.

Unfortunately, at holiday times, as the pace and pressure build, we may acquire a serious case of “spiritual amnesia.” We forget everything we’ve learned about honoring ourselves: how to keep things simple, rooted in the true spirit of the season, which, in case you’ve forgotten, is peace and joy. Instead, busyness overtakes us, expectations rise, and we may push ourselves beyond all reasonable limits. We fall prey to those nasty “shoulds” over and over again, and any sense of inner harmony is compromised. Before we know it, the New Year has arrived and we’ve lost our holiday spirit—and our own is in tatters.

During the holidays it is vitally important that we tend to our spirit. Crucial that we stay attuned to our essence—our peace, inner joy and loving-kindness—the truest parts of ourselves. So, how can we create a holiday that promotes our spiritual well-being? The formula is simple really. It’s one we learned as children when we needed to cross the street. It kept us safe and all in one piece, if we applied it: STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN.

STOP:
Before you launch into holiday preparations, slow down and take a deep breath. Notice where your energy is flowing and how this makes you feel. Slow down some more, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings; give them space to be felt.

LOOK:
Step back from yourself and take a good look at the action you are about to take. Ask yourself, ‘Why am I engaging in this activity? Am I doing this for myself because I enjoy it? Or am I doing it out of necessity or obligation? Does it provide meaning for me or is it a rote tradition?’ And, most importantly, ‘Am I experiencing pleasure or pain as a result of this choice?’

LISTEN:
Pay attention to the answers that come. Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and know that it’s OK to feel this way. Trust that it’s permissible to make new choices for yourself based on these feelings. Ask yourself, ‘What does my truest self really want right now?’

CHOOSE is the final and most important step in creating spirit-affirming holidays. As children, once we’d stopped, looked, and listened at the curb, we needed to assess whether now was a good time to cross the street. Ask yourself a similar question. ‘What choice can I make in this moment to do the right thing for myself, to honor my spirit?’

The answer that comes will either make or break your holiday experience. If you give in to those disempowering shoulds, don’t be surprised if your resentment level rises, right along with your blood pressure, and the holidays rapidly spinning out of control. If you heed the voice of your truest self, any expectations can be released, along with feelings of pressure to be or do more. Only then will you feel free to enjoy your life, especially during the holidays, in a “whole” and “holy” new way.

If you’ve already begun to lose touch with your spirit, there’s still time to reclaim it. Let go of any complexities you may have created for yourself and relax into the beauty of the moment. Just imagine, if the most arduous task required of any of us was to gather with those we love in front of a crackling fire, all the shoulds we’ve shouldered smoldering like ash in the grate, as we raise our glasses and toast to peace, love, and joy!
Holiday blessings to us all …

©2009, Janice Lynne Lundy

Jan Lundy, WomenBloom's Spirit and Self Editor, is an inspirational speaker, interfaith Spiritual Director and mentor, syndicated magazine columnist, and the author of four self-help/spiritual growth books for women. Her newest book,Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be, was released in 2008 by Sorin Books. She is passionate about her spiritual life and supporting women as they navigate theirs. Visit her blogs Awakened Living and Awake Is Good.