How can women move past the fear and uncertainty that comes with the loss of a relationship?

In my experiences in the classes, we have a banner that communicates the life cycle of many relationships: marriage, troubled marriage, pre-separation, divorce, singleness, new relationship, new marriage.   People can see these stages, there is a life cycle at play.  It demonstrates progression.  There is a span of time and they won’t always be in the stage they are in. That’s comforting for people to see.

The idea is that there is a singleness and new relationship stage before another marriage.  People don’t spend enough time in the singleness stage as we’ve discussed.  Statistically you are at a higher risk of divorcing again after a second marriage than originally.  And, more so after a third.  

During my 18 years of being single, I was in a couple of relationships certainly but I was slow to jump back into marriage.  Mixed in with marriage these days is usually some combination of blended families, child support, dealing with exes, etc. and it can be tricky.  Relationships can be challenging enough without all the other stuff. Take it slowly.

The task at hand is not to find the right person but to become the right person.  If you do, then you’re OK with yourself and you’ll be a much better partner.  

Dr. Larry Miller PhD has been conducting divorce recovery groups since 1985.  To date, he has helped 159 groups move forward after the loss of their love relationship.  He also does individual counseling around divorce and improving your relationships.  He can be contacted through his website www.divorcerecoveryaustin.com or you may call him at 512.502.1882. 

LIST OF COMMENTS