Everything you read lately tells you that a college internship is not “gravy” anymore — it’s a total necessity to your child’s future success. Period. So, as a dedicated parent who wants the best for your kid, you give the best guidance you can give: “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” I happen to be one of those really involved parents who give lots of advice — asked for or not! I coolly evaluated my son’s qualifications and spent hours scouring the Internet for college internships. Then I sat down and made a list of everyone I know who works in or near my son's chosen field: news broadcasting, film or media.

It was eye-opening for sure. First there is the sure bet — you pay big bucks to a company and they place your child in an internship suited to his or her talents. There is a company called University of Dreams, featured prominently on the search engines, that promises glamorous placements in Hollywood, New York or Washington, D.C. That is, if you can pay the $12,000 tuition! There is also the Washington Center, which has very lofty-sounding programs revolving around politics and government, for an average cost of $9,000 for the summer. I’m sure they are both wonderful, but well beyond my means for a short-term program.

I was quite sure that my son could get an internship on his own with a large company or network. I set about to read the online descriptions of what type of students they're looking for. The major networks, ABC, NBC, CBS, and all the cable news networks, require an online application accompanied by an essay, resume and other documentation. They generally require good grades, extra-curricular activities, and a major that relates to the internship. Check. He had it all: media production and political science double major; dean’s list, all semesters; relevant outside activities involving politics, debate, filmmaking and more. Smart, attractive, personable, hard-working — the whole deal. Theoretically, he's a perfect candidate for any of these plum assignments. Though his qualifications were stellar, the only network that contacted him for a phone interview was Fox News. He thought the interview went well, and though he is far to the left of the network’s leanings, he would have been thrilled to work there. They turned him down. They didn’t say why.

The remaining networks didn’t respond one way or the other. At that point I decided to go the route of “who you know.” I called a friend at ABC and she connected with a vice president at the company who would make sure my son got an interview. Sure enough, he worked hard lobbying everyone in the right places, and we got a call that an interview was arranged for early March in New York. No matter to me that my son attends college in Florida, I’d just fly him up! Oh, and now he needs a new suit, tie and dress shoes for the occasion. No problem — it was worth the $1,000 for him to get an internship, right? Right.

He interviewed for two positions — one as a writing intern on a soap opera (never mind that he hasn't even seen one of these) and one for ABC News — a dream job for him. He would have been thrilled with either one, but news — especially political news — is his passion. He enthusiastically set off on the interviews, which by his description sounded very successful. They’d contact him, they promised.

They never did. I tried to keep his ego boosted by telling him that the right job would come along, that the competition was fierce — blah, blah, blah. He waited patiently to be notified about the positions; it seemed likely that he’d get at least one of them. By mid-April, as he was approaching finals and needed to make summer plans, I suggested to him that he contact ABC by e-mail. He wrote something like this to his Human Resources contact person: “I am finishing my spring semester and need to plan for summer. Can you tell me if I am still being considered for the two internships I interviewed for?”

The most unbelievable response came back: “Unfortunately, you did not get either one.” That’s it! Would it have hurt to say, “Though your qualifications are strong, we have chosen someone else whose experience fits more closely to the position?” Or maybe, “Thanks for coming all the way to New York and spending your time and money, but we chose someone else.” Either one is better than the one received!

Fortunately, my son has a strong ego and plenty of self-confidence. He understood that there were many strong candidates for these internships, and he wasn’t bitter. It turned out that it was me who was bitter — not because he didn’t get the positions, but because they don’t seem to treat these students like real people. Having interviewed for numerous jobs myself, and having interviewed others, it's always a good life lesson to learn why someone else was chosen.

One company he applied to did treat him well, and it’s worth mentioning here. He applied to Sirius Satellite Radio to be a researcher on one of their talk shows. He sent a resume online and received a call. The interviewer, while looking at his resume, said, “Your background in film and video is very strong, but I see you haven’t worked in radio before,” and he agreed. She said they had had numerous candidates with radio experience and they would be considered first, but that she was very impressed with his resume and encouraged him to apply to Sirius after graduation — they could “always use someone with such impressive accomplishments” at their company. Funny, but he felt great after that rejection!

Lucky for us, after already completing his spring semester, my son received an e-mail from one of his media professors. The professor had recommended him for a prestigious internship program through the school’s award-winning film school. After an interview with the program’s director, a Hollywood producer and film executive, my son was offered a coveted place for the summer. He will be working in the business part of filmmaking: financing, distribution, producing and marketing of films. After months of researching, e-mailing, phoning and schmoozing the world, my son got his internship solely on his own merits! I’m a proud mom, as usual, and I feel even more confident in his future. He doesn’t need me as much as I thought — I love it!